Something I lover.

I lover California Baby.
I love the calming line and the smell of it.

This is my latest and greatest buy.
Bubbles in the bath and safe bubbles to boot!  What more could you want???
My kids love it and so do I.

Hot tip #1:  You have to tap, tap, tap the excess soap off the wand to get really good bubbles.  It is a lot thicker than regular bubbles.

Hot tip #2:  California baby is not just for babies.  It is great for those sensitive areas (wink).

"I miss my babies."

3 of my mom's babies and some guy.

This is 1979 and I am the screaming child in the front.  

My baby sister is not born yet.  

My mom taught me a great lesson without even realizing she taught it to me.
All through my life I can remember my mom saying, "I miss my babies!"
She had four kids all each less than two years apart and she would have had more if she could have.

(Here is a picture of me and my siblings.  It's not really of my mom's "babies" but it is the only one I have of just us together at a young age.  I especially wanted to add this because check out my capris with tights and red jelly shoes.  My older sister is sporting that look too and may I say it is quite a look.  I do not remember this at all!  Was this an in thing or was I a trend setter?  Were we in the middle of a Shakespeare play?  I don't know.  But that haircut sure was a good one.  I must really pour everything I can into my Shakespearean roles.  I will have to find a picture where you can really see how good it looks.)

Anyways back to my mom.  I have asked her often if it was hard and why she had us all so close together.  I have never once heard her complain about it.  She always speaks about those times so fondly.  She absolutely loved it.  The way she talks about it it makes me feel a bit guilty we grew up on her.

The thing I have taken from this is to enjoy my time with my little kids.  When both my kids are screaming and crying I always think to myself, "One day I will miss this.  One day I will wish I had screaming kids in my house rather than none."  And I usually smile and the screaming isn't so bad.

I have found that motherhood is a series of goodbyes.  Every new stage Eva or Scarlett enter I have to say goodbye to the person they were before and I miss them terribly.  I miss them as new born babies, I miss Eva crawling up to my legs and pulling on my pants (so excited for Scarlett to do this!), I miss when Eva learned to walk and didn't want any help.  I hate that they grow so fast yet so subtly that I don't realize they have grown until I turn around and Eva is saying full sentences and Scarlett is holding her own bottle and putting it in and out of her mouth.

The only thing I hate about motherhood is that it has to end.
I know that it doesn't "technically" end but it does sort of end and your kids have to leave you and like people better then you and think your are uncool and embarrassing.

Right now Eva will snuggle me and say, "I love you so much." and my heart melts and I blink away tears and try to memorize the sound of her voice.

These are my girls today.  I am trying to remember these sweet little girls just as they are now because they will be gone soon.

This is what I saw first thing this morning.  

I made her stay right there so I could get her picture.  I love those brown eyes. 

This is Scarlett in the sling ready to go water plants with me.  

I was surprised and happy how well this picture turned out.

I am grateful for my normal.

I posted a link to this blog the other day.  If you checked it out you may have found out that sweet little baby Ruby passed away.  If anyone who reads this lives near Rancho Santa Margarita or Lake Forest, CA you are invited to show your support for Ruby's family.
Ruby was born a few weeks after Scarlett in December.
A post that Ruby's mom wrote about just wanting a normal day really helped me.
The past two days I have just stayed at home with my girls and cleaned and watched movies and watered my plants.  Her post made me realize how wonderful normal days are.  Often times we are counting the days until some day in the future and we forget to enjoy each day that we have and each moment in each day.  I think something I will work on my whole life is to be present in every moment I live and be grateful for it.
These last couple days have been really nice.
Scarlett has been working on crawling and she is so close.  I think by next week she will have it down.
Eva loves to sing and can almost sing the whole Ariel song.  I will have to post it.

Apparently I have no pictures of my girls together because these were all I could find.  I will have to remedy that.

Freak out spectacular!

I have taken Eva and Scarlett to San Clemente for the weekend.
Eva freaked out on the plane.
She has been on a plane 10 times before this.  It is not new for her.
I was not prepared for the freak out.  I was also holding Scarlett so I could not hold Eva which I know would have totally diffused the situation.
Eva screamed and cried for 25 minutes and would not sit in her seat.
Not only was I completely embarrassed I had no idea what to do about it.

At home Eva has her fits in her room and comes out when she is done so on the plane I had had enough and shut down and ignored her.  I told her when she was ready I would talk to her.  This did not work and realize it was probably not the best way to deal with it but again I was totally unprepared and felt helpless.

The only things I am proud about is that I refused to bribe her.  I want her to behave because it is the right thing to do not because she is going to get a reward and I did not use the bink.  Phew.  It was tough.

It took me a good 3 hours to get over it and not be mad.  Eva was over it as soon as she was off the plane.

Of course I texted my sister to ask her how I should have handled it.
I got some good advice and feel more prepared for the future.
Although I am going to take the Love and Logic parenting class because let's be honest, I don't know how to be a parent.  It's all new to me.

I did not recognize this little angel at all today and it was scary.

p.s.
Scarlett was perfect.

Good news.

I asked Eva if she would stop growing and stay just as she is.

She said,"Uh huh." (meaning yes)

So that's good news.