Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Therapy #2

I like therapy.
It really helps me.

Yesterday I had a horrible, depressed day.  Things just get heavy and then overwhelming.  Yesterday all I could think was the gossip that ensues when a life event like this happens.  All I could think about were the friends that speak to friends that speak to friends who attempt to tell MY story but butcher it because they have not actually heard my story from my lips.  So then it becomes gossip full of assumptions and guesses and opinions and conclusions.

On my regular, logical day I realize I can't control this and who cares because I know my truth and it doesn't matter what others are saying but on hard days things like gossip become another thing for me to bear and it gets much too heavy and I slip into depression.
The thing I hate most about depression is the questioning of every choice in my life even down to the clothes I wear.  It is exhausting.

So luckily today was therapy day and it helped a lot.  I didn't even talk about all the gossip heaviness.  It just helps to talk to someone and tell them all the nitty gritty secrets of my life and to be completely honest about who I am and what I have done and am doing.  It helps so much.  She repeats back to me what I say so I can hear my voice and helps me to sort through emotions and gives me ideas on how to question things so I can figure stuff out.

Love it.

I am feeling better today.
I am feeling good that I am on a positive path and trying to progress and trying to be better and trying to figure out me.  
I feel the importance of it.

I just try not to look ahead of me because the road ahead of me is treacherous and long.  I try to just keep my eyes on where I am placing my feet today.

I hope you all have a good day today.  Take a moment and be grateful for where you are today and that you are not me.


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