Happy Halloween!

Today is the best day at my work.  Although this Halloween was less fun than some in the past it was still a pretty fun day.  We had some great chili and great desserts.
I dressed up as a hunter because I promised Teresa I would be a boy.  I wish she would give me permission to post her Elvis pictures from last year but alas, I can't.  Teresa thinks I should have been Russel Brandt because I look like him but I can't pull off the accent or I would.
So here I am.

 Michelle was Spiderman.  I love that this is a boys sized Large Husky.

This is a great nostril shot for you.

It was the end of the day so the beard was worn off.

So Happy Halloween!  I can't wait to take Eva trick-or-treating tonight!

Mary Poppins

(photo credit to Disney)

Eva has really gotten into Mary Poppins.  This is the movie she always picks when she wants to watch a movie lately.  She loves it and has started trying to sing some of the songs.
I have always loved Mary Poppins but now I know it very well and have discovered, again, how witty and funny it is.
Here are some quotes:

(this one is my favorite)
Mrs. Banks: [singing] We're clearly soldiers in pettycoats, and dauntless crusaders for women to vote! Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they're rather stupid.

(photo credit to Disney)

I love Mrs. Banks and all her lines in the movie.  She balances feminism and being a wife and mother hilariously.  She is ever sweet and patient with her husband when he can be a bit of an ass.  There are a couple scenes where she is constantly complimenting him of everything he does.

"Splendid, George! Inspirational. The Times will be so pleased."

"Oh, George, you're always so forceful."

"How clever of you! I would have muddled the whole thing."

"Oh, George, you didn't jump into the river. How sensible of you!" 

(It's not as funny reading it as hearing it obviously.)

Mrs. Banks: I'm sorry, dear, but when I chose Katie Nana, I thought she would be firm with the children. She looked so solemn and cross. 
George Banks: My dear, never confuse efficiency with a liver complaint. 






George Banks: Kindly do not attempt to cloud the issue with facts. 






George Banks: I suggest you have this piano repaired. When I sit down to an instrument, I like to have it in tune.
Mrs. Banks: But, George, you don't play.
George Banks: Madam, that is entirely beside the point! 






Mrs. Banks: But you're always saying that you wanted a cheerful and pleasant household. 
Mr. Banks: Winifred, I should like to make a slight differentiation between the word cheerful and just plain giddy irresponsibility. 






Mary Poppins: Practically perfect people never permit sentiment to muddle their thinking. 

Up on my soapbox with a suicide roll.

Proceed at your own risk.  I am expressing some of my life opinions.

Remember as a child you are told how pretty, smart and fantastic you are but then when you start to grow up you learn it is not ok to think you are so fabulous so you learn to hate yourself and shame yourself and make fun of yourself only to get into adulthood and learn it is ok to like, daresay, love yourself so then we have to spend the next 10 years of our adult life learning to like who we are and share our real selves with the world?

I have the hope to help my girls through this silly hardship.  I have no idea how I will do it but I want to try.

Right now Eva is in the super cute stage where everything she does is absolutely darling and everyone ooos and ahhs over her.  This super cute stage is partly so super cute because she is innocent to it and doesn't ham it up when people give her compliments.  One day this will be over and it will be sad but for now it is so fun.

We went to a wedding a couple months ago and Eva had to wear her very fancy dress and fancy necklace and we curled her hair.

When people told her how pretty she looked she said,"I know!" but not in a snobby way, but in an "I am having so much fun" way.  I want her to always feel this way.  I want her to know it is OK to think you look good and to like who you are.  Not only is it OK but you will have a healthier happier life if you are able to like and enjoy yourself.  I think the key to this is to be aware that you are no better than anyone else and that you are not, and don't have to be, the best looking, smartest or funniest in the room.  If you are happy and satisfied with who you are than it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or looks like.

Here's a recent, personal example.  I was working at Nordstrom the other day and they had some hair stylists there so I had one of them do a suicide roll for me.  See pictures below:

 Me twitterpated with my hair.

It is a bit messy since this was the end of the day.

I absolutely loved it and plan on doing it often to my hair.  But one young makeup artist I was working with said, "Oh did you get your hair done? (clearly I had)  You have a poof on the top of your head."  That was it.  In woman code that means,"I don't have anything nice to say about your hair so I will just make a statement about it since I want to let you know that I don't like it and think it looks horrible."  I know what you are thinking, "Well you were at Nordstrom."

I just blew it off and thought,"Well, I love it".

My point?
It's OK to be in love with yourself.  
It's not OK to think you are the only one who exists or who is important.
It's OK to like your like's and stand by your opinions.
It's not OK to think that people are stupid who don't share your like's and opinions.
It's OK to think you are pretty amashzing.
It's not OK to think no one else is amashzing.
It's also not OK to think "You are great but I am better."  

So let's enjoy ourselves as well as enjoying what others have to offer.

OK got it?  Good.

Thanks to Michelle for letting me know about a great tutorial on Youtube about how to do a suicide roll.  Here it is in case you want one too.

And send me a picture if you do it.

Pictures of Miss Eva.

Pictures of Miss Scarlett.

Please watch this!

At least I have my Frye boots.

Don't worry.
I know things will be OK because I am doing my best, I am progressing, I am praying and I am doing what I feel is right.

Plus today I am wearing my favorite boots.  This year my favorite thing about fall is that I can wear my favorite boots again.  I have to refrain from snuggling them at night.

They are just the classic Frye Harness boots.  I have wanted them for years and Clint bought them for me last Christmas.

I lover them.

Today I am wearing them with skinny jeans but they go with skirts and pants and swimsuits.  (I find any excuse to wear them unless it is too hot outside.)

Here is Frye's website if you want to lover them too.
But be careful, you will become addicted to Frye boots and want every style.

Therapy #2

I like therapy.
It really helps me.

Yesterday I had a horrible, depressed day.  Things just get heavy and then overwhelming.  Yesterday all I could think was the gossip that ensues when a life event like this happens.  All I could think about were the friends that speak to friends that speak to friends who attempt to tell MY story but butcher it because they have not actually heard my story from my lips.  So then it becomes gossip full of assumptions and guesses and opinions and conclusions.

On my regular, logical day I realize I can't control this and who cares because I know my truth and it doesn't matter what others are saying but on hard days things like gossip become another thing for me to bear and it gets much too heavy and I slip into depression.
The thing I hate most about depression is the questioning of every choice in my life even down to the clothes I wear.  It is exhausting.

So luckily today was therapy day and it helped a lot.  I didn't even talk about all the gossip heaviness.  It just helps to talk to someone and tell them all the nitty gritty secrets of my life and to be completely honest about who I am and what I have done and am doing.  It helps so much.  She repeats back to me what I say so I can hear my voice and helps me to sort through emotions and gives me ideas on how to question things so I can figure stuff out.

Love it.

I am feeling better today.
I am feeling good that I am on a positive path and trying to progress and trying to be better and trying to figure out me.  
I feel the importance of it.

I just try not to look ahead of me because the road ahead of me is treacherous and long.  I try to just keep my eyes on where I am placing my feet today.

I hope you all have a good day today.  Take a moment and be grateful for where you are today and that you are not me.

Love.

I lover Lalaloopsy dolls.

I love these little dolls.
I think I love them more than Eva.
OK, I know I love them more.
I saw them last year and wanted them but thought Eva was too little but duh, I wasn't too little.

Is anyone else enjoying them?

My therapy begins.

I found a therapist and have started therapy.
I like her (she is a she) and I'm so glad it worked out because I liked her price a lot too.
I think therapy is worth the money even if it is expensive but I found someone I like and she has a really reasonable price so I am double happy about it.  


I feel myself slipping into bouts of depression and with all the emotions going on in my life right now I know I need some help.
I write this because I am not ashamed that I need therapy.  I think everyone needs it and that it is really helpful if you find the right therapist that fits for you.


What I am hoping to get out of it is insight, answers, aha moments (thanks Oprah), help and emotional peace.  I look forward to having someone who is completely un-invested in my life help me.  Plus, I get to talk about myself for an hour.  Who doesn't like doing that?  


Apart of me is a little scared at what I will discover but I am mostly relieved and feel like it is about damn time.  I have finally started something I probably should have started a long time ago.  


May I just say if you have thought about therapy just do it.  Don't wait until it is really, really bad to be motivated.  That just seems silly.  
Believe me I have amashzing hindsight!


Love.

BTW

My eye is on the road to a full recovery although I have to wear my glasses for a few more weeks.  


There is some scarring on my cornea from my past episodes but it is peripheral and this latest episode looks like minimal scarring.


And apparently we all have herpes or will get it eventually but it is a genetic thing if it decides to flare up.  So everyone can stop with the herpes jokes.


Also check out my new favorite blog.  It is written by my 8 year old niece.  I love it.

Love.

Don't forget! October is Month of Fun!

Month of Fun is here!  What are you doing with yourself?

We started off our month with a trip to Yellowstone!
Yellowstone holds a special place in my heart. I went there annually growing up so I was excited to take the girls.  It is sort of my nature Disneyland and it seems just as expensive.  Everything in the park is way overpriced.  A meal for me and my girls is around $16.  Next time I will bring a cooler of food.  But let's get on to the pictures.

 Scarlett at Yellowstone Lake.

 Eva with her grandparents.

Eva sticking her head out the sun roof.  

On the side roads she did this and had so much fun.

My favorite geyser Young Hopeful.

It just tries so hard.

All the sights and smells of Yellowstone take me back to my childhood and remind me of my grandparents.

My grandparents are photographers and went to Yellowstone at least 10 times a year with their trailer in tow.  There were a couple times they were even attacked my some elk.  

I was there during the Yellowstone fire of '88 and remember the way the sun looked through the smoke.  We happened to be there on 8/8/88.

One of my favorite things has always been the boiling mud pots.  I just think they are so cool.

We went a few times during the winter on snowmobiles until they stopped letting that happen but Yellowstone in the winter might be the best way to see the park.  

On this last trip we went over Bear Tooth Highway.  It was amazing and gorgeous.  It is a wonder how they built it back in the '30's.  

 Here is Bear Tooth Highway.  Apparently you are not a true biker (motorcycle) unless you have driven this.

Here is the credit to the picture and the list of roads you need to ride if you ride motorcycles.  

Bear Tooth is #1.

Here is a picture of the Bear Tooth.  

Credit goes to the name in th corner but I couldn't find anything on that.

My sweet girls.

Have you been up to the mountains to see the fall leaves?

If you don't have mountains sorry about that.  They are gorgeous!

The best news I have had in a really long time!

Arrested Development is on its way back to TV.  I may just have to get cable so that I can DVR it.
Check out the news here.
Seriously I am so happy!

Thanks to Alicia for letting me know.